Its been really warm here today so I decided to open the windows and doors in the office to let in some fresh air. So nice to finally not have to dress in the winter woollies and to feel the warm Spring breeze…but in with the breeze came a blowy (Aussie term I’m guessing since we always seem to add a ‘y’ to the end of every word we cut down…but thats a whole other blog in the making!) so back to my story.

In came a blow fly…then another…and another…WTF

Up I got and bang closed the windows and doors. So much for the fresh warm breeze of springtime, but now my office was full of these disgusting, buzzing dirty creatures all hovering around the venetian blinds in my office. Infact, they were buzzing so loud I had to turn up my music as I couldn’t stand their noise!

Then it started….they could clearly see how their incessant buzzing was annoying the shit out of me and they began their kamakarzy dive bombing. They even banged into my head a few times…eeewww! The filthy dirty creatures had to go.

So I scrounged the office for a can of fly spray…yay! Look out blowies Buffy’s on the rampage with a can of Moretein Super fast killing fly spray (non allergenic of course!) **cough cough**

After several minutes the buzzing was deafening! They were darting back and forth, dive bombing from the roof and swooping across my desk. I feared for my life! Then gradually…one by one they got caught up in the venetians and with the final kick of their germ infested legs they bit the dust! (Literally…the dust on my window sill) At last…peace…but no breeze… just the lingering after smell of fly spray and a half a dozen blow fly corpses lying there.

Best I find a broom and get rid of them as they might grow maggots over the weekend and thats just too revolting to even contemplate!

My Resimay

Too hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in
the paper.

Ikin type reelee qwik wif one fingar amd
do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I
am a pepole person. Pepole reelee seam to reespond too me well. Sertain men and
all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not too good but find
that I offen can get a job wif just my persinalety. My salery is open so wekin
discus wat yoo waunt to pay me and wat you think that I am werth. Ikin start
emeedietly.

Thank yoo in advans four yor anser.
Hopfulee yor best aplakent so farr.

p.s. Becorz my resimay is a bit short  - beelo is a piktcha of me

Employer’s response…

Dear Beefy - I mean Bryan,