Marriage
“You don’t marry someone you can live with - you marry someone you can’t live without. ” - - Unknown
I just read that on another blog and it got me thinking…my marriage is kind of the reverse. I married someone I can’t live with and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s more because we are total opposites and even as I sit here typing this post I can’t come up with anything we have in common. Nothing, nada…zip!
You see my husband is driving me crazy at the moment, so much in fact that I have left a house full of visitors to come into the office for some alone time.
It’s not like he’s a bad person…infact he’s far from it. But, he speaks often of my youngest sons lack of ability to read people, when he infact cant read me. He knows the things that annoy me the most and yet he seems to continually do or say them.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a bit of a clean freak, well he is the total opposite. He doesn’t notice if the sink is full of dirty dishes or if the floors need mopping. He doesn’t notice the time I spend cleaning the house every week or doing the washing most days…he doesn’t notice when I come home from the office and make the bed (that he was still sleeping in when I left early in the morning) he doesn’t notice the fur balls from the dog hair I vacuum on a daily basis. He doesn’t notice the half drunk cans of coke piling up on the bench, he doesn’t notice the recycle bin thats overflowing and about to spill onto the floor. And most of all…he doesn’t appear to notice me!
He constantly makes jokes about everything (and often in bad taste and mixed company), he embarrasses me in front of family and friends with his wise cracks and silly pranks. He’s almost 40 and acts 14! (at times).
So, how do I fix it. I don’t. Today it’s annoying the crap outta me…tomorrow I’ll cope with it differently. (or maybe the day after!) I guess I should have read the warning label before I signed on the dotted lines…’35 years old and still living at home with the folks’ should have been enough to tell me this momma’s boy couldn’t do anything for himself let alone me!
Now that I’ve had my rant…I’ll go home to my house full of visitors and enjoy the rest of my Easter.
BTW…Happy Easter to all!
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I’m sorry you’re going through that. It sounds a lot like what happened between my husband and I. We are now in the process of being divorced. I finally got to the point where I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life living in limbo–and that’s what it felt like.
I’m now in another relationship, which isn’t perfect, but I am happy. He appreciates me for who I am. He remembers birthdays, and the little things that make me smile! What a change!
I hope that you find peace and happiness, because we all deserve that!
If he didn’t notice everything why not tell it to his face, I think you both needs to talk.
Never mind me if you don’t want an unsolicited advice lol!
Thanks for buyin an Entrecard ads to my site btw.
Your post reminded me of my marriage (except for the uncalled for comments and kids.) I too have days where I just want to beat my husband with one of the pepsi cans he leaves sit, or any of a number of other things….. but in my case, I do love my hubby dearly and would be useless without him. So, I count to 10, remember that I made him this way (as I waited on him hand and foot the first 3 years of our lives together) so he only behaves the way I taught him to. We have been together 11 years…. its not always easy but nothing worth having ever is.
Good luck to you.
I must confess to only having read the last/top post here.
In your post - which is excellently written by the way - you mention all the things you don’t like about your husband and if I’m honest he does sound pretty selfish/ignorant on the face of it.
You mentioned that he lived with his parents all this time? I’m not convinced it’s a simple case of that old dog not being able to learn new tricks. Have you approached him about this? I mean a sit down chat as opposed to a plate throwing conflict? It’s okay observing and complaining if you’ve been through the process of trying to get him to change and work with you for the greater good, but if you haven’t then you have no one person to blame but yourself. I mean that factually as opposed to finger pointingly (pointingly, is that even a word?).
It could be that you’ve just married someone who’s an arse-head and you’re never going to be compatible, or it could be that you can both work a little harder at it and it will all fall into place. If you feel it’s the latter, then do try as that’s where a good marriage begins.
PS. I love the blog, keep up the good work toots (friendly slap on behind) (smile).
@ Stacey - thanks for your kind words
It’s funny…but today I’m dealing with it better.
@ manilenya - We do talk…mostly me AT him, but the line of communication is open its just a pity he doesn’t always hear.
@ Petra - I also love my husband which is why I put up with him. It’s my second marriage and I’ll continue working thru these issues…eventually he’ll out grow them (won’t he?) lol
@ Reformed Smoker - thank you for dropping by and your kind words. I have discussed these problems with him many times and whilst he always takes my advice ‘on board’ and things are good for awhile, it seems that he always goes back to the same ‘ol ways within a month or so. Then I grit my teeth and deal with ’stuff’ for a couple more months…then it builds up again till he’s driving me crazy and then I’m at this stage again!
I agree that we both need to work a little harder as I believe this marriage is worth it. (But I’m still not convinced this old dog can learn new tricks!)
Sometimes it’s good to have a ‘rant’ and get things off your chest. Thanks all for listening
HAHAHA - That was sooooo funny had me laughing out Loud