Chatted up by the Boogie Man (literally)
On my way into the office this morning I stopped by my local coffee/muffin shop for my extra hot, double shot skinny latte (don’t laugh…that’s what I ask for!) and the guy behind the jump (the owner I think) was doing his usual ‘way too happy for that hour of the morning’ chatty thing. I’d noticed a few other mornings that he was particularly interested in talking to me, but brushed it off. (I’m like twice his age I’m sure and although he’s not bad looking he certainly isn’t my type - sleazy!)
Anyway…he starts chatting about the weather and how cold it is and I laugh politely when he says ‘that it happens in Winter’ and he laughs too. And then it happens. A booger…boogie…bit of snot…what ever you choose to call it…flies out and attaches itself to the end of his nose!
OMG! Now I’m doing my best not to laugh hysterically and I know that I’ve already screwed up my nose and grimaced twice. But, he continues to chat while I wait for my latte; wishing today I’d gone for their generally ‘warm’ coffee which is made in a flash and I’d have been on my way! Instead I stand there trying my best not to stare at that boogie and make idle chit chat.
Then the clincher…he leans over the counter, booger big and green stuck firmly on the very tip of his nose and whispers “would you have a coffee with ME sometime”? Oh fuck…oh fuck…I thought I would vomit! I took one last look at that snot nosed face and replied “Thanks but I dont drink coffee”…grabbed that latte from the counter and was outta there. Shouting back…”have a great day”!
Looks like I’ll be finding a new coffee shop for that extra hot, double shot - hot chocolate!
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that is the most hilarious thing i’ve read since… i don’t know when (most likely one of your other blogs!!)i couldn’t stop laughing and i really think the guys in the office thought i had finally gone over the edge — saves them pushing me. i think you should find another coffee man coz this one will never be the same!!!
OMG! How f***n funny! It could only happen to you, I swear! I seriously don’t know how you kept a straight face and didn’t throw-up right there and then! You’re killing me sis!
ewwww! I’d be so afraid to have him touch my coffee with thing hanging from his nose! you poor thing!
Ya know……not that long ago i was in a mediation hearing for a child support raise and custody of the kids. Long story but asswipes attorney had this booger..big nasty one just inside his nose and i tried for the longest to be polite and not say anything. But then i got pissed off because he kept calling my daughtr ” the girl” and i went off on him. I yelled, “my daughter has a name, her name is ASHLEY. If you cannot call her by her name stfu and for the love of all things holy go blow your damned nose because i’m not sure i can keep my breakfast down much longer you scheming idiotic prick!”
The uhhhhhh bad part of that…..a court reporter was ordered to take notes during this whole thing and that whole tirade is forever recorded.
I am laughing so hard the folks down the hall are wondering what is going on. I must say, that after reading your story I will feel compelled to check the noses of everyone who touches my coffee.
I think calling Him the Booger man! May the force be with him! lolz!
I am sort of laughing and mentally gagging all at once - this is not the sort of thing you want to have to deal with ever but especially NOT early in the morning…
I am glad to have found your blog!