Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man
has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the
wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRASAFE : Here, have some M&M’s.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some M&M’s.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: What did I do wrong?

SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars.

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some M&M’s.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some M&M’s.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I ! hope you didn’t overdo it today.

SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more M&M’s.

Another thing to giggle about. My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me diamonds.

Here have some M&M’s.