5 days smoke free, but not without drama!
Today is my 5th day without smoking and I’m proud of myself even if my husband isn’t. Infact…he has given little if any encouragement towards me giving up. I’m not sure if its because I’m moodier than usual and am taking my frustrations out on him…or whether he really doesn’t care one way or the other as long as I get off his case!
I know I’ve had a few moments when I could have killed him of late. It’s been like he’s intentionally doing things that he knows will piss me off, stress me out and drive me to smoke again so he can say “I knew you couldn’t do it”.
So yesterday I asked him why he didn’t support me in my decision to stop smoking. He said that he did, but hated the fact I took my ’smoke free short fuse’ out on him. (It is only the two of us at home now…and he is a ‘pig’ around the house, so who else would I take it out on?) but I think the most hard hitting comment was “I do want you to give up smoking because I worry about your health. The cigarettes may not kill you, but they could cause other life threatening diseases that will” (wait…this is the best bit!) “and you might die and then I’d lose the house and couldn’t pay the bills.”
Holy fuck!!!! Now is it just me…or is that the biggest ’stab in the heart and give it a twist’ comment you’ve ever heard? No mention of being heart broken because I’d died, no mention of loosing his life partner…lover…best friend. Just he’d lose the house and couldn’t pay the bills. I think I’m still ‘gob smacked’
Now, I’d like to point out at this time, I am currently taking Zyban pills to aid in my attempt to quit smoking and I am aware that they wreak havoc with your mind. But shit…even the pills can’t make this comment any worse than it is.
Hence to say…we haven’t spoken since. I see where I stand in order of importance in his life and whilst I would be totally devastated by his death (and I honestly dread to even think about it), I can assure you the house, the bills and anything else would not even come close to entering my mind.
Agh…what does one do? Maybe these pills ARE doing my head in…but hey! I still haven’t lit up!
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Grats on not lighting up! It will be tough but thats what your blog is for - let it out sister!
Aw, you should be so proud of yourself for quitting!!
It does seem your hubby’s comments are not exactly the best, but maybe that’s the only way he knows how to say it and doesn’t realize how insensitive of a comment that is?
Don’t worry, in about 2-3 days the moodiness should wear off
Poor you!! I knew you were grumpy last week but had no idea that this had happened. I agree with RegretfulMorning - let it all out. Call Jules and go get pissed together. If it doesn’t help you, at least you’ll laugh watching her fall all over herself.
Whatever you need, I’m here for you. I know where there’s a house you can sleep in but it’s cold.
I’M SUPER PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations, I know it’s hard, I just passed my 8 month mark and I smoked 36 years - thought I’d never quit, actually swore at one time that I would never quit.
All that changed when a doctor’s visit informed me that I’d be dead within the year if I didn’t quit.
I used Chantix and it made it very manageable, I have to say it wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
Remember this, the actually addiction to the nicotine ends after 12 days without a cigarette.
The addiction is the habits you form around smoking - they’re a bitch to get through but having buddies you can blog with definitely helps.
I’m here for you and I know other quitters that will help you get through this.
Husbands and kids aren’t good for encouragement (they want it but forget it about getting it in return - selfish SOBs).
Wooooooohoooooooooo on the not lighting up!!! Ewwwwwwww on hubby though. I think i’d get a stack of bills together and just whup him everytime i thought about his statement lol. I’m meaner than you are though. You just keep bettering yourself by taking those stinky things away and when he wants some tell him, ” gosh i’d miss that lil thing if you went away” see how he feels lol.
Bigggggg hugs to you and smile, men are just not too bright sometimes. I’m sure he loves you dearly.
good luck I’m about to try again..
I was able to quit smoking, I believe you can do it.
As for the comment of your hubby, don’t take it too personal, it may just be his way of testing your limits
You guys are the best!!
I read all your comments and burst into tears (I either want to kill or cry!)
It’s my 8th day smoke free and I haven’t killed or maimed my husband or our dogs (must say they came close a couple of times!) and my mood does seem a little better in particular today. I had a check up this morning and my doctor thinks another few days and the worst of it will most likely be over. I’m not sure who’s the happiest..me or my husband!
My eldest son and his beautifully pregnant wife arrived home this weekend. He is so proud of me for giving up…he said its worth a few bad days of insults and verbal abuse. I still don’t think my husband is convinced of that!
I’ll keep you posted and thank you all so much for YOUR encouragement…its means a lot!
p.s. I’m so sorry Flirty if I took my bad mood out on you. I’ve tried so hard to keep it outta the office. (oh dear…did geek1 and geek2 complain?)
First, Bravo for your brave 5 days! I can relate … I decided to do a one month cleanse - no alcohol - no sugar - mostly veggies - no coffee.
I am pretty sure my temper could bend walls at this time. I am on day 6 and let’s see … I’ve yelled at a man in a truck for coming into the crosswalk while I was crossing … a store clerk over her answer in the store …. a tech support person over the phone. My ex and son are avoiding me by throwing notes at my home from three blocks away which read, “Is it day 30 yet?”
I’m sure it’s not me tho…;-)
Catherine, the redhead blogger
PS. How could your husband not adore YOU?
Congrats on the quitting!!! Don’t let anything get you down. Maybe your hubby didn’t quite think about how things would sound like when he said that. I honestly think it’s a man thing.
What synchronicity! May 23 was my birthday and I quit on that day and posted about it on my blog. My fourth day today and it’s not too bad so far. I’m not using any meds, but am trying out my own “method” which I’ve outlined here: http://islandwench.blogspot.com/2008/05/birthday-present-to-myself-quit-smoking.html
The crankiness is there and my kids are being pretty good about putting up with it.
You are not alone in your misery …
Cheers,
Louise
Good on you girl! I’ve been there, done that. Even with the less than sensitive husband (grrrr.. can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em). I smoked for about 20 years, and decided to quit three years ago. Smoke free still and the best advice I can give you (please don’t hate me for giving unasked for advice.. ) just take it all one day/minute/second at a time. I tried to quit one other time, and then started up again after 3 months. Ugh. This time around I just thought to myself, “If I have that cig I will have to do this quitting shit ALL OVER again, next time I decide to quit”. Screw that. I haven’t had a smoke since.
Hang in there! You’ll make it!!!
WOW! What a class AAA JERK! (I can say that cause I have my Marc who’s really like you see him on the site).
You bore his children, cleaned his mess, etc. and he can look at you and say that! Sorry - I know from your post you love him, but holy mackerals - many of them! I hope it just came out wrong.
On quitting smoking - I’ve tried many times, so I know how tough it is. Keep going & trying.
A thought just occurred to me: There’s a weird thing people do, especially those close to us, when we try to make a major change. It’s called “change back”, & it’s just like it sounds. It happens when they’re uncomfortable with the change & want us to go back to the way we were. Maybe that’s what’s going on.
Anyway, love your blog, & good luck with quitting!
Congrats on going smoke free..
My mom did it years and years ago with out help, well I kept saying that she better stop cause the house smelled bad, lol..
Keep up the good work, I’m sure it’s hard..!!!
How are you doing today? When the urges/tuggings get tough just change gears some (at least it helped me).
I know you can do this.
Keep this in mind……you are only addicted to the nicotine for 12 days, anything after that is habit and I can tell you from experience that the habit is harder to get over than the nicotine.
Keep moving forward, you’re doing it!!!
That Grandbaby is getting a better smelling Grandma and you’ll keep looking better……shit, by the time that baby is 5, the friends will wonder if you’re his Mama instead of being his Grandma.