My Resimay

Too hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in
the paper.

Ikin type reelee qwik wif one fingar amd
do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I
am a pepole person. Pepole reelee seam to reespond too me well. Sertain men and
all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not too good but find
that I offen can get a job wif just my persinalety. My salery is open so wekin
discus wat yoo waunt to pay me and wat you think that I am werth. Ikin start
emeedietly.

Thank yoo in advans four yor anser.
Hopfulee yor best aplakent so farr.

p.s. Becorz my resimay is a bit short  - beelo is a piktcha of me

Employer’s response…

Dear Beefy - I mean Bryan,

Here’s something you all wanted to know but never asked…

I know why I haven’t been sleeping…I obviously needed to know how to get the cork out of an empty bottle. Actually…by the time I’m finished drinking the bottle of wine I’m too pissed to get the plastic bag in the hole let alone blow it up and pull the cork out again and besides for that…who the hell puts the cork back in the bottle when its empty???