Morning sex keeps you healthy
I just read an article stating that a steamy sex session in the morning can keep you healthy. Yeah right!
For me there is nothing worse than rolling over in the morning to be planted with an open mouthed tongue kiss…complete with ‘morning breath’ and furry teeth…eeeeewww!!
Oh! and lets not forget just how attractive we all look after a nights sleep. I know I’m such a hottie in the mornings…left over make-up…that whole Alice Cooper eye thing going on! Hair that the bed faeries (thats bed not bad although there’s little difference) have hit with the ugly stick…must I go on?
So, according to some research from Queen’s University in Belfast, a good morning session at least three times a week, decreases the risk of heart attack or stroke by half and a regular session improves circulation, thereby reducing blood pressure. Apparently doing ‘it’ twice a week will burn off around 300 calories an hour that simultaneously diminishes the risk of developing diabetes.
Couldn’t the same results be achieved in the evening after I’ve had time to prepare? Like shower, spruce up a little, clean my teeth, maybe pitch the flannel jammies for a slinky night gown and I could work off the days calories instead of working on an empty stomach?
But it was this part of the report that interested me the most.
“An American study involving 300 sexually active women whose partners did not use condoms revealed that they were less prone to depression”.
What a crock of shit! My husband and I haven’t used condoms in years and I fight off the dreaded depression ‘blues’ and have most of my life. Obviously it was using those damn condoms in my early years (to prevent STD’s and pregnancy) I should have known that would effect me in years to come! I may have had my genitals fall off and a gazillion kids, but I wouldn’t have depression or maybe it’s not working cause I’m not sexually active enough! And what does sexually active mean exactly? How many times a week is ‘active’? I am married afterall!
The report goes on to say… “Sex increases the production of testosterone that provides stronger bones and muscles thus helping to stave off osteoporosis”. (A good calcium intake can do that too and it doesn’t matter what time of the day you have it!)
“A good morning session can make the hair shine and skin glow by raising the output of oestrogen and other hormones which are associated with it.” - oh plaeeeeeeeze! The only thing to make your hair shine and skin glow is called ‘washing’!
So after reading this informative report *rolling my eyes* I thought maybe I’d investigate my own findings. Anyone up for a little ‘rumpy pumpy’ in the a.m.? Agh…not with me! I’m too busy sleeping, but I thought we could monitor your health here and see if its all true. Anyone? No? oh well…it was worth a try 
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